the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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