If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Panties = found
Randomize
