Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We need to rekindle our bromance
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
