This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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