so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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