Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
