oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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