I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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