You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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