I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
