eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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