I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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