He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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