I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
