high people should be assigned attendants
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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