sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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