I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
