Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
