I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
