I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm experimenting with sincerity
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
