Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so let's talk penis.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
