I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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