The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
