Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
