I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
