is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
