I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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