I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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