You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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