yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
