My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
