When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
