Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We had sex on a dog bed..
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
