The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
