He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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