also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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