I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she smelled like a LAN party
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Sext me about skeletons
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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