the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
