adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
