I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
