Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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