you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
