I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
