they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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