Got a toothbrush?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
