The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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