She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
