We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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