So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
