FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
