How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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